the difference

ever since being a mum and back to work, i became more selfless. everything is about the baby. everything has got to be about the baby. she is on my mind 24/7, i can never stop thinking and worrying about her especially during the day when i'm at work and she's at the nursery.
what is she doing at this very moment? did she drink her milk? did they burp her after her milk? is the milk that i send enough for the day? is she behaving well at the nursery? are they treating her well? does she have enough stimulation in between naps? oh my. the more i think the more i become anxious. anyway let's see the difference before and after i had a baby.

BEFORE BABY
i can go to the shopping mall after work for some me time or buy some stuffs for dinner.

AFTER BABY
i have to go back straight without making any stops so that i can pick my babycakes at the nursery asap.

BEFORE BABY
i go to the shops and buy things for none other than myself (and the occasional stuffs for hubby).

AFTER BABY
if i go to the shops, i can never leave without buying a little something for my baby, be it a teeny weeny toy or a pack of socks. or a new pacifier. there must be something for her.

BEFORE BABY
i've no doubts about spending money for myself.

AFTER BABY
i hesitate to even buy a RM50 top for myself but i don't mind paying RM30 for a teething toy.

BEFORE BABY
hubby and i can go to any restaurants to eat.

AFTER BABY
hubby and i will see if the restaurants is a baby-friendly restaurant i.e not noisy, spacious enough for a stroller, there are separate sections for smoking and non-smoking, comfortable and not hot and stuffy etc.

BEFORE BABY
i can wear any kind of top when i go out.

AFTER BABY
i have to consider wearing a nursing-friendly top. i only have a few nursing tops and they are not so stylish. if i wear a baby tee, i would wear a tank top underneath. it's hot and not that comfortable but like i said, it has got to be about the baby.

BEFORE BABY
we can easily go up and down the floors at shopping mall using the escalator.

AFTER BABY
we have to wait for the elevator to get to different floors and sometimes it takes forever and it is almost always full. we then have to wait for another, which takes time. so we had to make sure which floor we want to go to so as not to waste time just by waiting for the elevator.

BEFORE BABY
i can sneeze and cough for as loud as i can.

AFTER BABY
i had to control and compress my sneeze and cough especially when the baby is sleeping.

BEFORE BABY
i couldn't care less about nose booger and ear wax except mine.

AFTER BABY
i get super excited and i feel like it's an achievement when i managed to suck out a nose booger out of her nose (with a nasal aspirator, of course). i also get super excited when i clean her ears and gosh who would have thought that someone so little can produce so much ear wax?? wow. oh i also love to see her 'high' face when i clean her ears. she would have her eyes half-closed, looking all high and feeling good when i clean her ears.

that's all i can think of at the moment. now i'm missing her like crazy especially after spending quality time with her during the long weekend. i miss golek-goleking with her in bed, in front of the tv, hear her babble away and screams at the top of her lungs (it's her new found habit), kissing her until she rimas hehe oh the list goes on and on.

damn it's only 12pm?