Wednesday, December 28, 2011

sleeping positions

my babycakes is 3 months young and of course, she hated it when i swaddle her to sleep. her favourite sleeping position is the starfish-style. just look at how blissful she looks with all fours spread out like that.

but look at her face when i swaddle her.

she would struggle and try to wiggle her way out of the swaddle. this one she's probably checking if i'm watching her so that she can slowly make her way out of the swaddle cloth.

success!! cheeky little bunny.

Friday, December 16, 2011

my first surgery

...and hopefully the last, insyaallah.

i underwent a laproscopy cystectomy or in layman's term (like me), an ovarian cyst removal surgery on friday, 2 december 2011. it all started when i went for my post-natal check up at Prince Court Medical Centre (PCMC) 6 weeks after delivery. my gynae did an ultrasound and found a cyst measuring at about 9cm x 6cm. that is bigger than the size of the uterus itself. she asked me if i know that i've a cyst but of course i was just as surprised myself. all along when i went for my pre-natal check up at Hospital Tawakal (HT), it was never detected by my then gynae. and i have never had any symptoms that comes with a cyst. the gynae then told us that due to its huge size, it is better to remove it. if i do not remove it, in the event that it bursts or twists, i will be in severe pain and will require and emergency operation.

there are two options to remove it, one via open surgery like a c-section and the other is via laproscopy, which means doing small incisions on the tummy. between the two methods, of course i chose the latter because recovery and healing process are easier and faster as compared to the former. we went to few other hospitals to get a 2nd and 3rd and 4th opinion and after discussing and thoroughly going through the options, payment method and whatnot, we finally decided to have the surgery done at Sime Darby Medical Centre (SDMC).
long story short, i was scheduled for the surgery on friday, 2 december 2011 at 3.30pm and it will be performed by Dr. Delaila, who is a specialist. that friday morning, i had a bowl of oats for breakfast and started to fast since 7.30am. hubby and i then sent Irene to the babysitter (which of course i cried all the way to the babysitter and all the way to SDMC).

we arrived at SDMC at about 8.45am and went to register. i've been pre-registered earlier so the process was easy.

my tag. somehow rather it felt like i just had my hospital tag removed not so long ago and now i've to wear it again *sigh*. thankfully i've got my insurance and my medical card and i am entitled to a single room but unfortunately no single rooms are available so they put me on a waiting list. even a double room was not available then so they told us to wait. too bad i can't eat or drink anything. i then went to the nursery on level 6 and managed to squeeze a pumping session. yup' i brought my bpump with me to the hospital.

at about 10ish, the reception called and told that a double room is available at the moment so i was asked to go to the ward.

then a nurse came to check my blood pressure and temperature. after that, i was prepped for surgery. by prep, i meant being shaved by the nurse. then the nurse gave me the meds to move the bowel, the one that was inserted in your anal, similar to the one you get before delivery. not a pleasant experience i must say. i was then told to take a bath using a special liquid soap given by the nurse. after i took my bath, i put on the hospital gown and the nurse cleaned my belly button. yet another unpleasant experience. you know how 'sensitive' your belly button is, right?

big bro and sil took a half day leave so that they can accompany me. notice how everyone is busy with their gadgets? hmppphh.

at about 3.30pm, the nurses then came to my room as i need to be wheeled out to the operation theater (OT). at this point, a lot of things started to play in my mind. it felt just like in the movies but the only difference is that this time it is real and i am experiencing it! the OT is at level 1 so we went in the elevator and my heart started to beat fast. before entering the OT, i was asked a few questions and then after saying goodbye and kissing hubby's hand, i was then wheeled in. hubby was only allowed to a certain point only. inside, i was put at the holding area where i was put on drip. i hate it when they poke a needle through my vein. i asked the anesthetist when will i start feeling drowsy? he said that it was merely water to prevent me from dehydration since i've been fasting since morning. i was then left alone at the holding area for a good 15minutes or so but it sure felt like the longest 15minutes ever. i started to think about all kinds of things- my parents who are still in Mekah, my babygirl, especially my babygirl and everytime i think about her, i started to well up. and then there's the thought that what if the operation went wrong? what if i did not wake up? what if i bleed profusely? even though the surgery is in between major and minor, there is, of course a risk. after all, this is my first time in the OT. i then leave it to Allah.
soon after, they wheeled me into the OT and all i can see are the big lights, some gadgets, the steel table, a big screen, just like what you see in the movies. homaigod. saspen! at one point, i even felt like aborting the surgery altogether but it was too late. i laid down on the steel table, a number of nurses came, the anesthetist put some kind of liquid in the drip and into my vein and i felt a slight pain in my vein. then i was put on the gas mask and within seconds, i totally black out. it was like magic, i kid you not.
i don't know how long the surgery was but all i know is that the nurses woke me up and said that the surgery is over. they asked me to open my eyes. i tried to open my still drowsy eyes and i can immediately feel the pain on my tummy. i remembered making a 'mengerang' sound because it was just too painful. apparently after the surgery they put me back at the holding area for observation for about 1/2 hour. after given the all clear from the doctor, i was wheeled back into my ward and it was already 6pm. too bad i had to move from the bed that they wheeled me in to the bed in the ward. i then slept until lil bro, big bro and sil came. then hubby also came after picking Irene up from the babysitter. the moment i looked at her, i felt very relieved and it was a perfect cure for my pain.


my buah hati pengarang jantung. i can't bring myself to sit up, let alone to hold her in my arms. but having her lying beside me definitely helps. it hurts so bad to even move, laugh, cough, sit. now i know how much we use our tummy muscle to move about. the nurse would come by every now and then to check my temperature and blood pressure. at about 12am the doctor came and checked my condition. she also gave me the picture of the cyst that was removed together with a dvd of the procedure.

i have four of these plasters on my tummy. one on the left of my belly button, one on the right, one on the belly button itself and another one below the belly button.

this is where the drip was inserted.

on the right side, a tube with this container was attached to my tummy. this is to drain the darah kotor. i had to lug this container everytime i move. going to the toilet hurts like hell that i need the assistance of the nurse every single time. i need their help to help pull me up and out of bed and even to walk. i can't imagine the pain that women who had c-section had to go through. the next morning, when i woke up, not only does it hurt so bad, but my boobs were engorged too because i haven't pumped out the milk and my baby hasn't been feeding. so make that triple the pain! thankfully i have my pump with me.

these two persons especially, kept me strong. i felt soo sayu upon seeing hubby with my baby. the funny thing is, i've prepared her clothes, which ones to wear during the day, which ones to wear at night but of course, hubby put her in her sleepsuit. when asked, why put her in her baju tidur? hubby said 'kan hospital sejuk, pakai baju tangan panjanglah'. cute. and it does make sense. until today i still wonder why the hell hospitals have to be so damn cold anyway??

two nights without mummy and she had a scratch on her nose. hmpph. anyway i never got my single room. SDMC is almost always full huh? i was then discharged on sunday, 4 december 2011. alhamdulillah. serik ok! the tummy still hurts the first few days and i had to walk really slowly but soon the pain subsides and i resumed life back to normal. i got 3 weeks MC wooohooo! this means i get to spend more time with my babygirl!

i have removed the stitches on 13 december 2011 and this is how it looks like. just a teeny weeny incision and hopefully it will leave little or no scar at all.

the alcohol prep to be applied every time after bath to help it heal and dry faster.

it was one experience that i will never forget and i hope i will never have to go for another surgery, ever. when i was in so much pain, i questioned, "WHY ME?" but i soon realized that this is just a small test as compared to other less fortunate people who had to go through major operations. that definitely kept me grounded.