little kitten

yesterday a terrible thing happened. my hubby accidentally ran over a kitten under the porch. the kitten apparently was under his tyre and when hubby reversed his car, i noticed the kitten sort of menggelupur and was very weak.

the thing is, the kitten has been around for quite some time now. she was always with her super garang mother who will stare and get angry at you whenever you come near her and her kitten. the kitten too, became super garang and super eksyen like her mom. *rugi sendiri lah kan, if not i would have surely feed them like they were mine* i can never get close to them, let alone touch or pet them. they would either get angry at you or run away when you come near them or when you call them. so there's no chance for me to feed them at all. as time goes by, the kitten grew but she is still relatively small so the mother cat kinda abandoned her and left her alone. i guess the mother was out again to look for a new partner. sheesh. this little kitten was still being her usual garang and eksyen self. ever since the mother left her, the little kitten was left to fend for herself, which i assumed she did not know how to. therefore, she just lie under the car or under the porch or near the vase and eventually she became weak and frail. i decided to feed her milk. of course she didn't come running to me when i gave her the milk. i left the milk and went away only to see her drinking it after i was nowhere in sight. see, still so eksyen, right? i also fed her some rice with ikan bilis, which she ate a bit. the rest were eaten by ants. she became weaker and weaker and yesterday as hubby was about to leave, none of us noticed that she was under the car. *sigh*. who would have thought that she would be sitting under the car, right? i only realized after hubby reversed his car but i think hubby did not completely ran over her. i guess (and i hope) only a minor part was ran over. i saw her menggelupur a bit and i frantically waved for hubby but he was running late. grrrr. he then took the kitten and put it near the vase. of course i can't leave the kitten there. i then checked on her and she was already dead. *sigh* so i buried her near our ciku tree in front of the house.

it was very sad indeed. but i guess it was her time to go. she was already very very weak anyway. now i regret for not really feeding and taking care of her and i felt really bad that she had to die in such a way. i pray that she rests in peace and i hope that hubby is forgiven. after all, it was an accident, right? it was not like he did it on purpose.

and i pray very hard that karma does not bite back now that i am carrying a child in me. *amin* i can't help thinking of the little kitten though...